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Sunday, February 12, 2012

Oh Where, Oh Where Has My Little Dog Gone?

I assure you that it was the most glorious day you had seen! With nothing in particular that needed to be done this day, I decided to take my four year old spaniel out for a walk. It wasn't the most pleasurable of chores that I had, but on this day it felt like less of a burden.
So I hitched the collar around my dog's neck, latched up the leash and out we headed. We strolled from our home to the main street where cars whizzed by left and right as people passed us lost in their thoughts of the day. I watched as my spaniel scampered here and there, sniffing each tree and post with reckless abandon. I became concerned as he attacked each station with flared nostrils, sucking in the odors that lay in wait and exhaling the same pleasing fragrances, his brain twitching and twirling with instinctual instructions. Though nobody seemed to care, I put my head down and shook it, sure that everyone was aghast at the ferocity at which my dog greeted each vertical object.
"You are embarrassing me," I murmured as I covered my eyes and the dog pulled me forward. Before I had a chance to look up, I felt myself slam into what seemed like a brick wall. I stumbled backwards and fell to the sidewalk, letting go of the leash and instantly fearing that my dog would become crushed amid the racing cars of the street. I opened my eyes only to find his snout pushed in my face, tongue at the ready to lick off my shame.
"Are you ok?" I heard a burly voice ask kindly. A behemoth of a man stared down at me and offered me his hand. "You must watch where you are going. God knows I've learned that lesson many times."
I fumbled for my dog's leash then reached out and grabbed the man's hand. "I am so sorry," I said as he helped me to my feet. "And thank you." I paused for a moment to make sure I was in one piece. I brought my dog in close to me to ensure he was not a nuisance to this stranger. "Of course God knows I have to learn that same lesson, and hopefully He does not have to teach me too many times. He has shown me the error of my ways before!"
The man looked quizzically at me. "Oh," he said, looking me up and down. "When I said 'God knows', it was really just a figure of speech. I didn't mean God literally knows. That would be foolish."
"Foolish?" I questioned. "I hardly think that. God knows everything, so why is it foolish to think he wouldn't know that you need to watch where you are going?"
The man waited a few moments before answering. "I see," he stated condemningly. "You are one of those."
"One of what?" I asked.
"One of those that believe that there is actually a God and he sees everything you do and actually cares about any of it."
"And you don't?" I asked
"Seriously?" he said as he stared back. "Of course not. It's not that I mind if you believe those things, it's just that I have gotten beyond that kind of thinking. I simply don't believe that God sees and knows everything. In fact, I don't believe in God at all."
I felt my jaw drop and the tight reign I had on the leash loosen. My dog leapt towards the man and jumped on him, his paws reaching just above the man's thigh. My dog was trying to lick him, and it took me a few seconds to recognize what had happened. I reeled my dog back in and calmed him down. I then looked back at the man.
"You can do that?" I asked. "I mean, simply not believe in God?" People were passing us left and right, but I was fixated on the man's face.
"Sure," he said, smiling at me.
"And it works?"
"It has so far," he said chuckling. "And I have no reason to doubt that it won't continue to be true for me."
I stood gazing at the man, dumbstruck by the definitive way he lived his faith. He continued to smile at me, then patted me on the shoulder and walked away. I turned around and watched him grow distant, seemingly as content as any man I had ever encountered.
I finished walking my dog and headed home. All the while, I was transfixed on the fact that the man seemed to be so at ease dismissing God. He went so far as to make God non-existent, something I had never even dreamed. I arrived home and walked inside, letting my dog run free as I fell into the couch.
I started to rationalize. If that man so easily dismissed God and was able to live happily, then would it be just as easy for me? In fact, was God something I had simply decided to make up in order to bring everything into easier understanding and focus? And if that was the case, could I just as easily stop believing in Him, and He would no longer exist? It had seemed to work for that man. Maybe he was on to something.
My mind raced with the possibilities. Perhaps all my life I had lived with this power and had never exercised it! If that was the case, it was about time that I started harnessing that which I possessed. But I could not start with something so grand as God. As I rationalized, I figured that this man must have worked his way up to God. He must have started small, and that is where I had to start. I had to find something that I wished to be rid of, and simply stop believing in it. If that worked, then the possibilities were endless. My heart raced at the thought of the power I held.
I looked around my house for something to stop believing in. I looked at my computer, but I really liked it and decided it should stay. I glanced at my cactus plant and thought about the care it needed, but realized that I did hardly anything and it thrived, so it was hardly a nuisance. I looked at my new flat screen television that hung silently on the wall, and decided that not only did I like it, but it took up practically no space. Then my dog bolted into the room and started pawing at my feet.
"Please stop," I said sternly. That's when it hit me. The dog was nice to have, as he did keep me company at times. And on cold nights it was pleasant to have something so warm in the bed. But recently he had become more trouble than he was worth. He demanded a lot of attention, and was costing me more money in food and vet bills than I had originally thought. He was a good dog by all accounts, but I reasoned that indeed my life would be better off without him. My dog was going to be my test!
I quickly called for him and he jumped into my lap. I gathered him up and excitedly jumped to my feet. "Oh, you are going to make me so happy!" I exclaimed. "Now, it is nothing personal, but I'm just going to have to stop believing that you exist. We've had a good run, but it's time to be over."
I walked around the house contemplating how this needed to be done. I saw the back door which lead to my fenced yard, and decided that would be the place. I sat him outside the back door, looked him in the eyes and shrugged my shoulders.
"Well, this is goodbye," I said as I closed the door. I ran back to the couch and held my eyes shut as hard as I could, reciting to myself that I no longer believed in that particular spaniel. This went on for about a minute until I opened my eyes and shut my mouth. I listened intently for any noise that might have come from that dog, and heard nothing. I became tentatively excited as I stood up . But I had to make certain. I walked slowly across the house to the back door where I listened once again. I heard nothing, and with my heart in my throat I gripped the handle and swung the door open.
"Oh my," I exclaimed as I stared down at an empty slab of concrete. There was no dog, and no sign that he had ever been there. "It worked!"
I was overwhelmed with shock. I peered around the yard and found no trace of the dog. I slammed the door shut and practically floated over the carpet back to the couch. I had done it! It was possible to wish something away, and the power that seemed so foreign mere hours earlier was now mine. My mind began to race with the possibilities as I looked for more things of which to dispose. As I looked around, I saw the remnants of the spaniel's life in my house. Dog bowls, beds and toys littered the area. These were the next things that had to go. God would come soon after.
I started to gather up all of my dog's belongings. I found leashes, toys, the bed and bowls, and little clothing I had bought for him. All of it I wanted gone, and all of it I would soon stop believing in. My arms were overflowing with stuff, stretching all the way to my chin. I struggled towards the back door, and with the smallest portion of exposed digits I fiddled with the doorknob and popped the door open. I thrust the pile onto the ground below, and watched as it splattered into a heap. I smiled and slammed the door closed, running back to my couch. I sat down dutifully and closed my eyes.
This was significantly more than just a simple dog, so I reasoned that I was going to need to concentrate harder and for longer in order that it might no longer exist. I sat there, grabbed my knees with my hands and started to concentrate. I concentrated keenly on the fact that no longer did I believe in the dog's things, and in turn they would no longer exist. I sat there for much longer than I had with the dog, but for how long I couldn't tell. Finally, my eyes burst open, and I felt assured that all of those smelly, hairy things were no longer of my reality. I crept towards the back door and opened it slowly, only to find once again a blank slab of concrete staring me in the face.
I was giddy, and ran back into my house. I had discovered the truth, and no longer would I have to be tied down by inconvenient realities or difficult situations. The stranger I had run into on the street was my ticket to an entirely new world. I was going to be the master of my reality, and it was going to be exactly as I demanded!
Like a child with a bagful of candy, I was grinning from ear to ear. I began to imagine all the possibilities. My mind went wild with what my new reality would exist of. But the longer I thought, the more I became uneasy. I was becoming invaded with fear from what my newfound power actually meant. If indeed I could control that which existed or didn't exist, then I had to be careful with that power. I had become stronger than anything I had ever known before. I had become God.
I stood dumbfounded by my revelation. But before I could ponder any further what had happened, I heard a loud banging on my front door. The noise awoke me from my stupor and I cautiously made my way to the front of the house. The banging continued, and I heard a familiar voice calling my name. I quickly opened the door. I was overcome with terror and confusion as in front of me stood my neighbor with a leash attached to my dog in one hand and a clear plastic bag of my dog's belongings in the other.
I stumbled backwards. I had to catch myself on the wall to avoid falling to the ground. Concern crossed my neighbor's face as he entered the house, placing the bag at my doorway and releasing my dog. It bounded towards me, jumping on my legs and sniffing furiously about.
"Are you ok?" my neighbor asked. "You look like you've see a ghost."
"How is this possible?" I responded. "These things no longer exist!"
My neighbor looked confused and stared blankly at me. The dog continued to bounce around the house as I regained my composure. My neighbor ignored my confusing words. "Your side gate was open, and your dog ran into my yard. I brought him back around, but saw all his stuff on your porch. I thought I might as well pick it all up and bring it back in one trip." He paused while looking at the concern on my face. "Are you alright?"
I wasn't sure what to say. It seemed impossible to me that the dog and all his things would be here now, as they no longer existed. But my neighbor seemed definitive, so I decided to tell him what happened.
"A man I met today said all he had to do was not believe in God, and it was so. I figured all I had to do was not believe in whatever I didn't want, and it too would be gone. And I thought it had worked!"
My neighbor gave me a look of pity, then smiled. "If something exists, my friend," he started, "if it is real, then nothing you or I do can make that thing cease to exist. What's real is real, and if you choose to think otherwise, you are only lying to yourself. It will continue to exist no matter what your mind decides."
At that moment I knew he was right. For all my wishing, all my intent, there was nothing that I could do to make that which was true and real go away. I had been a fool to believe that simply by wishing I could make my dog go away. And I was a bigger fool to think that saying God does not exist would make Him any less sovereign over the whole of creation.
I fell to my knees and began to cry. My spaniel ran over to me and thrust his snout to my face. I held him tightly as tears poured forth. But I knew my tears would soon be dried, for the God I thought I could erase would be there to comfort me. And that was real power.

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